MONUMENT #2 has been sent to press

My music hits and the pyro goes OFF. You’re there along with the millions AND MILLIONS of my fans. The fireworks are loud and seeing them inside a stadium is probably a little disorienting if you aren’t a self-publishing cartoonist like me. Me? I am used to it. BIFF! BIFF! BOOOOOOM!

I have finished MONUMENT #2! OOOOH YEAAAAAHHH!!! (Yes, I’m wearing an Andre the Giant style singlet. You’ll get used to it.)

Wait.

How are you? Is your state on fire? Because California sure as shit is. My son is an optimist and said there was less smoke today. That was not true. It was worse by far. I didn’t have the heart to tell him though. I swear this post is going to be light and celebratory. But this is our life now, guys. We live in the apocalypse and saying EVERYTHING IS FINE will kill us before the smoke. Time to normalize saying “It’s shitty but that’s okay becuase we are alive and fighting.” I do think we will all be okay. However it is going to be a tough few years. No doubt. However, that is okay. We are tough. But yoooooou. How are you???? Are you training? Saying your prayers? Eating your vitamins? I could really use a tag team partner. We could get you a singlet.

Guys, there is no pyro. It’s a real quiet accomplishment here at the lab. Above are the pages though! Pencilled, inked, colored, lettered and proofed.

[You will notice that there is no cover. Kickstarter backers get to see that first when they open the envelope.]

Once they are printed I ship them to my (patient and lovely) Kickstarter backers. The press cut me a deal so timing is still being sorted. In their defense, they thought they were getting this book years ago. Hopefully by the end of the month.

Then I try to sell these. I really need to stick to that last part. In the past I have fallen off. Being artist means making the work, showing the work and trying to sell it. It’s amazing how few can even get to the first step. I tend to sabotage that last step like I’m all three of the Beastie Boys. NOT THIS TIME, JABRONI.

I think one of the key factors in artistic success is bravado. Beyond confidence. Irrational confidence. A lot of what I like about pro wrestling and some rap music is that next level bravado. I need more of it within me. Or at the very least to stop thinking I am such a piece of garbage. Dream big, Hulkamaniacs. (Did you know Hulk Hogan is a huge racist? A lot of old time pro wrestlers were horrible humans. Why do I like pro wrestling again?) A cartoonist I like, Brandon Graham likes to say “My job isn’t to make comics, it’s to stay psyched to make comics.” There’s a lot of art that is considered poorly executed that A LOT of people like. That artist gets to make a living and that’s a fucking miracle. Not that people like it, that they make a living. I’m working on just churning out work. The dream of doing this full time is probably not in the cards but I do think I’m at peace with how art fits in to this chaotic smokey fight that is my life these days.

Richly colored

The left is the finished “rendered” page. The right is just “flat” color.

KICKSTARTER UPDATE #52

How are you, friends? Really funny bumping into you on the space station Deep Space Nine. Me? Oh I’m just dropping in to see my homie Quark. His exotic alien drinks are way better than La Croix back on earth. Oh you’re headed to Cardassia Prime, eh? Tell Kanye I said “hello”…Yeah. I hear that whole planet is sick of Kardashian jokes. Man, that dude is crazy though. It’s weird how mental illness can play out as being an asshole. Like is anyone actually an asshole or will we find out in the future that the truth of life is suffering and that we all suffer in some way and that we all deserve some kindness. Fucking hell we’re in the goddamn future now. QUARK?! Have the four noble truths of buddhism be found to be scientific fact here in community theater future? Hmm. I don’t think he can hear me.

Me? How am I? Oh man. Like I’m okay. We’re all a little batty, right? I’ve been really productive with this comic. You’re gonna slap me when I say this but I think I’m almost done? OUCH!! Bruh. The ear? If I were Quark you would of killed me. (Yeah, I deserve it). I’m mostly rendering now. (see above) The hard work is done. I’m not going to promise any dates but I really feel close to done. I’m happy with the work but feel like I’m completing this at the worst time. “Want to read my emo white man story featuring a well meaning cop???” Perfect timing.

Working from home has me on a good work rhythm. I gave in and set up a proper work space. Not commuting is huge. Other than being so isolated, it’s been helpful for me in a lot of ways. My son is hanging in. He’s a tough little guy. What a hard run for this generation. Like I’m sure the Secretary of Education wasn’t amazing when I was a kid but he wasn’t trying to kill us.

Look, man. Don’t tell Quark but I don’t think Star Trek is gonna be cool in the near future. Making “alien races” stand in for earth nationalities and races is….problematic. Oh man! The Holodeck! In a recent episode Bashir is in the Holodeck and is clearly having sex with Hologram people. Can holograms consent? Like fucking a sentient robot like the sex fiend Data who can consent is definitely ok. But these Holograms don’t have any agency but also they’re programed light. Also: I need to take more walks outside.

I found an old photo of my friend Raph who was murdered a year ago. He’s sitting in a pumpkin patch eating an apple cinnamon donut with my then three year old son. Raph was the master of embracing a zen moment like that. His face was mashed up that day from a fight or a fall. He had rode into town on his motorcycle. He was always recently fired and leaving town. He drew like a renaissance master. We were at some autumn fair. It’s moment we don’t have with a man who isn’t here. Man, everything feels far.

I like this little book I made for y’all. I think this momentum is going to carry into the next project. I think we all need little worlds to remind us of the past and envision the future. We are all doing a lot fo reflecting and seeing the moment. I hope this finds you well. Thanks for your support and, as always, refund are still available.

Great Americans: Maya Moore

Maya Moore left the WNBA at the peak of her powers to pursue justice for Jonathan Irons, a black man wrongfully imprisoned in Missouri. He was set free July 1st. Moore has won four championships, an MVP, a Finals MVP Award, three All-Star Game MVPs, two Olympic gold medals, a Scoring Title , and the Rookie of the Year Award. She is an elite athlete but left that money on the table to do help. An amazing story.

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GREAT AMERICANS PROJECT: The world has been pretty awful recently with Americans being particularly disappointing. I dig making collages so I wanted to use that energy to to signal boost some good vibes as well as the good folks that inspire me to keep active. We can do this, fam.
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BREATHE: SANDRA BLAND

Sandra was a sister and a daughter who volunteered with seniors

Sandra Bland was pulled over for a minor traffic violation and quickly was jailed. She died in what police say is a suicide but is clearly bullshit. She was a civil rights activist in Chicago and a part of the Black Lives Matter movement. She should be alive today.

A series of portraits of Americans whose lives were stolen by racist police officers. Please donate instead to organizations listed below in support of the fight against injustice.

Please donate to
Southern Poverty Law Center
NCAACP Legal Defense Fund
Black Lives Matter

BREATHE: Elijah McClain loved music and animals

In Aurora, Colorado was holding a violin vigil for Elijah McClain, who was known for playing his violin, especially to animals. He was murdered by the police last summer.

Then the police decided they’d seen enough.

Police then used PEPPER SPRAY to clear the park. There were FAMILIES AND KIDS out in Aurora. It was literally just a violin vigil for Elijah.

A series of portraits of Americans whose lives were stolen by racist police officers. Please donate instead to organizations listed below in support of the fight against injustice.

Please donate to
Southern Poverty Law Center
NCAACP Legal Defense Fund
Black Lives Matter

Visible From Space

Kickstarter Update #51

You can see close ups at my Instagram: ca_ghost

I wore coveralls and rolled huge swaths of yellow. I fucking love yellow. You can see it from space. Once I had Marvel’s Black Panther and “Black Lives Matter” blocked in on the mural, locals started with the kind words. I painted a mural once before and it was quadruple the size of the one I put on the front of Cape & Cowl Comics in Oakland, California. When I was done, I felt great but knew this was not for me. Mural work is it’s own craft and I didn’t want to invest in learning it. I have enough unprofitable artistic endeavors. I’ve seen the folks slinging paint in Oakland and I do not want to event try to get to their level. Joshua Mays wins.

Then the world blew up again. The quarantine broke open to rally for black people getting murdered by the police. My local shop is downtown near Oscar Grant Plaza which houses the police. The city named the plaza after Frank Ogawa who was a city council member who died in 1994. The people named it for Oscar after the Bart Police murdered him. Like a lot of people, I have rethought my life after George Floyd’s murder. I have protested police brutality before. Donated. Kept myself informed. Now is different though. I’m different.

I did this mural a couple years back. I looooove me some YELLOW.

This little mural is nothing. Like Black Panther is owned by white people and I was unsure about using him. Except black kids love him. The shop is populist. I put my politics aside and tried to make something that showed solidarity but also felt safe for kids. God, I love Oakland. It was nice to do something passive and small. I donate. I march. I am far more vocal than I was before. I am trying to be more than passive good. I want the racists to be uncomfortable. I want them to know I will not be polite any more. Fuck Republicans. Like we know it’s a death cult now. I’m like KINDA okay if you voted Republican once or twice in the past, but now? You gotta be off that shit to come to my barbeque. For real. If you donated to my Kickstarter, come get your refund. I don’t want racist money.

So I’m working in my own art again. I took a couple of weeks to focus on helping black people directly and find a way to keep that up. Art is my life though and, while I’m still being politically active, I’m back to my work. I’m lettering MONUMENT #2. Honestly, does the world need my emo white man story? I’m honoring my agreement. Even in the 90’s when we all thought racism was dead because Bill Clinton was “the first black president” and we were going to be millionaires, I experienced profound doubt about whether my stories should be heard. Now? Bruh. I dunno. Art is my job and I’m doing it. I’ll let the audience decide if they want to do anything with it.

I am newspaper famous

Kickstarter Update #50

I’m lettering Monument for y’all beautiful patient people at Kickstarter. I’m good. I was really derailed from comic book making for awhile there. I’m getting back into a groove now though. Lettering doesn’t make for the sexiest of visual updates.

I walked through my neighborhood early today and saw the hippie/junkie who lives across the street. He’s leathery and old but steady in his own way. On r or twice he was out his mind in the street but mostly he comes and goes quietly. Today he was reorganizing his massive windowless van. I thought he worked as a black market delivery man but I guess he’s just a hoarder. The van exterior is pristine white. The interior is a dank mess.

Man, planet Earth is a fucking mess. So much chaos in my orbit. People trying to get sober via AA Zoom meetings. Agoraphobia pairing with germophobia for a cocktail of shut-in misery. Folks losing jobs. Folks working in morgues. Folks stuck in the bigoted parts of the South. I’m grateful I have my spot. Oh! The San Francisco Chronicle interviewed me a few days (weeks? months? who knows anymore) about being a single dad during the quarantine. Like when I’m the story you use to end on a high note, you know things are fucked.

What is going on? I’m re-reading Joss Whedon and John Cassaday’s Astonishing X-Men run. It’s the right about amount of heroic silliness and it’s definitely escapist. Cassaday is at the peak of his powers and following his run on massive world building in Planetary this assignment seems to be more fun. A lot of character work on existing designs. Whedon definitely plays to his strengths. It’s very straight ahead and slightly too comedic which is about all I can handle lately.

I’m about to finish Bojack Horseman which is some real deal art. I have no idea how they got anyone to pay fo this but good on the team. There’s a lot of sobriety themes in there. Some of them work. My quibble is that Bojack has a “cool drinking origin story”. Something that clearly drives him to be an addict. From what I’ve seen most folks just have general existential sadness that they can’t seem to fix. While the wreckage is often interesting the why? Sometimes it’s abuse or trauma or something awful. A lot of times though it’s just a bad confluence of basic life stuff followed by too much drinking followed by being unable to stop and kinda not wanting to stop so you die and your pain ends. In most fictional addictional stories the protagonist has an REASON to drink. Which works for fiction. And for some sobriety stories. Just not all. They also clearly have some amazing women writers and artists creating authentic characters around Bojack who is a piece of man garbage. He’s a trojan horse (sorry, not sorry) for some great stories about “not typical straight dudes”.

Also (and this is important) I’m eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on motherfucking Wonder bread. It’s glorious. Earth is nuts and PB&J on basic ass white bread is like pure sugar carb hug from the past. Two thumbs up.

Thanks for sticking with me, fam. Refunds, as always, are still available.

Turkeys & Rifles

KICKSTARTER UPDATE #49

There were a lot of woods near my house growing up. In middle school I’d bike through them with some fools from the neighborhood. Were we friends? No one made us go outside. We just did because TV was reruns and there was no internet. The woods ran between my neighborhood to the rich kids part of town to industrial parks to sand pits. We’d bike to buy onion flavored chips and build bike tracks between the trees. We’d bike so far we’d be racing home, kind of lost, before the sun set. Our parents had no idea where we were. Sometimes we’d meet parallel universe kids. Dudes in private school playing street hockey in recently poured concrete foundation for house not yet built. The woods were like teleportation tunnels sending us further than the half mile or so we biked. The woods were filled with detritus from kids adventures and transients’ debauchery. It was fun and scary. Sap and pine needles everywhere. It wasn’t dry leaves and idyllic. It was sticky and cold and strange.

My son Noah lives on the computer. His friends explore and build in the pixels of Minecraft. I go on bike rides with him. I don’t feel like the world is more dangerous but I do feel protective. Particularly during the current climate of social distancing I feel compelled to stay close. His life is a lot more contained and I’m not sure how I feel about it. He’s still very young and the world is fucking nuts. I’ll sort out his autonomy better once we are not wearing masks everywhere.

The end of MONUMENT #2 takes place in woods similar to the ones of my youth. Magic vortexes connecting desperate parts of town. The color story is done. I’ll render some more and make some tweaks later but lettering is up next. I’m going to be so stoked to get these Kickstarter comics in the mail.

I hope you’re well, friends.